


A Hard Night's Programme

by Nedmons



Category: Edward Snowden - Fandom, Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Americans in Russia, Established Relationship, Flashback, Friendship, Gen, Harry Potter References, Imported from Tumblr, Late at Night, Nedmons, POV First Person, Politics, Post 2016 US Presidential Election, Warning: Donald Trump, Whistleblowers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:13:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29806164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nedmons/pseuds/Nedmons
Summary: Eddie and Marilu watch an orange abomination.
Relationships: Lindsay Mills/Edward Snowden





	A Hard Night's Programme

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published on 10 December 2016, when it was easier to be a _Harry Potter_ fan, and politics was a little less depressing for the Gryffinclaws.
> 
> Link: <https://weird-hogwartsrus.tumblr.com/post/154264692175/a-hard-nights-programme>

It was one of those nights somewhere in Moscow, Russia, where a couple of Gryffinclaws would gather ‘round a black laptop with the Tor and EFF stickers, for a viewing of fine wizard cinema. I mean, who doesn’t? Even after _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_ (Part II), we can still enjoy the Wizarding world that we are part of, from our screen and large comfortable couch. This night, however, was very late, and given that each instalment of the Boy Who Lived is over two hours long, we set the saga for next time we met. Besides, we have reporting to do, and—

“Edward Snowden, what are you watching?” Looks like we’ve found something for the screen. No leak, no document. No, not a documentary either—shorter…  


“It’s this reality show over on Twitter…” Eddie—the rightful owner of the laptop—replied. “So many familiar faces…”

“Who’s Who in the President’s Cabinet…” I read the title. Feeling queasy from what I just saw, I turned to my friend, “I’m not sure about this…”

We found out—to our dismay—the host of the programme, that witless tangerine cocksplat none other than Donald J. Drumpf.

“Oh sweet Marilu, why do you have to be the bearer of bad news?” Ah, my poor friend.

“I see all…” I told him. “Guess we should have stuck with Harry Potter.”

* * *

We were in the middle of der Drumpf’s bombastic introduction—we could not keep quiet, good Lord, that hate speech—when we heard a door creak open, followed by quick footsteps.

“Oh, fantastic, we woke up your girlfriend!”

And soon enough, there appeared a small blonde, with muscular build from her dancing days back in Hawaii. Lindsay Mills. Her hair was unkempt, and from the looks of it, she has not been getting enough sleep. At once, we hid the laptop under a black jacket, and fell quiet.

“What’s going on here?” She looked at us, before noticing a hastily-thrown piece of clothing—with the sleeves coming out, no less—between the two Gryffinclaws. She took a step.

“Lindsay, no!” We tried to guard the black mound with a couch pillow, but it was too late. The girl pounced on the poor Gryffinclaws and uncovered the laptop; the girl has seen der Drumpf.

“Oh, God, he really is that ugly!” She was horrified. “Edward, Marilu, when is that show going to end?”

“Until all of the cabinet positions are filled,” Eddie answered. I looked to the clock at the bottom right corner of the screen, then back to the girl. “Lindsay, sorry it’s well past three in the morning, but we had the _fortune_ —” snicker snicker “—to come upon some of the filthiest souls in the universe.”

No Hogwarts alums were safe, as the orange leader made his picks. Towards the semi-final round, we got a Tweet from a friend of the press. It read, “This has become an exhausting and pointless game.” Lindsay nodded in agreement.

Surprisingly, Eddie Tweeted back, “But don’t you want to know the finalists?”

**Author's Note:**

> So much has changed except for what remains.


End file.
